“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” – Ephesians 6:22, 24

She was the most powerful woman in the world. Married to the greatest Emperor at the time, Queen Vashti was also the most beautiful woman in the world, and she knew it.  

The process of choosing her as the queen was so meticulous that it would be extremely difficult and expensive to replace her. She believed that she was virtually irreplaceable, and rightly so.

About three years into his reign, the emperor decided to throw a seven-day mega banquet at his glorious palace, to which he invited all his nobles, army generals and governors from all the 127 provinces of his vast empire.

Then on the final day, the great emperor had to make his entrance to address his empire.

Of course the queen had to be by his side as it would be an opportune time for him to show her off to his nobles.

However, there was a problem. Queen Vashti refused to come out! What?

Incidentally, Queen Vashti had organized a banquet of her own on the other side of the palace. Nothing and no one could persuade her to come over to join the Emperor’s banquet.

Naturally, the emperor was enraged and furious with embarrassment.

Immediately, he consulted with his advisors to tell him what to do.

“Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes,” the nobles advised.

“For the queen’s conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands….There will be no end of disrespect and discord.”

They demanded that the king should throw Vashti out and proclaim a decree throughout the empire that all the women learn to “respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest.”

That marked the unceremonious end of Queen Vashti and the start of the process to replace her with Esther.

The full story is in Chapter 1 of the Book of Esther.

In the original language, the word for ‘submit’ means to ‘yield under.’ Contrary to popular belief, submitting is not the same as being ‘under the authority or control of.’

What was the source of Vashti’s problems? Lack of submission, so much that she even had the audacity to organize her own banquet and blatantly reject her husband’s invitation to sit by his side at the most important event of his reign.

Our meditation verse today is probably one that every husband knows by heart! Personally, if I had the power, I would definitely edit out the word ‘everything.’

But is it possible, leave alone feasible, for a wife to submit to her husband in everything? Well, if it was not then the Scripture would not have given the admonition.

As Vashti’s story above illustrates, lack of submission by wives has always been a very serious concern that it breeds “discord” in society.

In the original language, the word for ‘submit’ means to ‘yield under.’ Contrary to popular belief, submitting is not the same as being ‘under the authority or control of.’

Additionally, submission is not the same as obedience to another’s commands or orders. 

Submission simply means voluntarily yielding or ‘giving way’ to another, not out of obligation but out of love.

Consequently, submission cannot be demanded. Rather, it’s an inside-out thing, whose presence or absence may be evident.

In 1 Peter 3, the apostle Peter throws some light on the subject of submission in the marriage setting.

In verse 1-4, the Bible says submission manifests through “behavior,” “purity,” “reverence” as well as a “gentle and quiet spirit.”

Also, submission is described as an ‘adornment,” with which the holy women of the past, like Sarah, distinguished themselves by wearing.

No sane husband can respond to a wife with such an attitude in any other way except loving devotion and care.

The phrase; “You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear” (verse 6), may indicate that it’s usually “fear” (insecurity) that causes many wives to shun submission, to the extent of organizing their own ‘banquet’ in brazen competition with their husbands!

Avoid humiliating him in the eyes of the public. Avoid competition. A couple with two visions means ‘division.’ Consult him before making decisions. Explain your position; if he insists, yield. Time would prove you right.

In this generation of ‘women’s liberation’ and ‘feminism,’ God’s standard of submission remains our only hope for harmonious communities and the only remedy for social discord and conflict.

As a God-fearing woman, refuse to give way to insecurity and fear and instead choose loving submission to rather than competition with your spouse.

Submission is the ultimate security.

Prayer:

Almighty God, I choose submission. May my submission be evident through my conduct, purity and reverence. I adorn myself with a submissive spirit and refuse to give way to fear and insecurity, which cause unnecessary rivalry. In Jesus Name, Amen!