“Ask, and it shall be given you….for every one that asks receives.” – Matthew 7:7-8

I once failed to find the place I was going to. 

Frustrated, I decided to return home.

When I got home, they asked me why I didn’t ask for directions.

Well, men hate asking others for directions.

Learning how to ask for help from others is a skill that I am still laboring to learn.

I am not alone, apparently; a lot of people are also struggling in that area.

Yet, learning how to ask is a critical skill for every human being.

Someone said a great deal of problems in the world would be solved if people just knew how to ask.  

In our meditation today, our Lord Jesus urges us to ask, and gives the assurance that “everyone who asks receives.”

Why did the Lord have to give us the instruction to ask?

Experts say the ability to ask is a challenge for many people due to a combination of factors.

For example, men generally refrain from asking for help fear of appearing vulnerable.

Many people think that asking for help is an admission of a lack of ability.

They worry that others will view them as poor or less capable or intelligent.

There is also the innate fear of rejection.

What if I get embarrassed when the person says ‘No’?

If a person was constantly barked at, ignored, or ridiculed for asking from their parents as a child, they may internalize that experience and carry that fear into adulthood.

For many of us, asking for help can feel like a knock on our ego, as we think that others might see it as a sign of being ‘failures’ who can’t be ‘self-sufficient.’

Somepeople are genuinely hesitant to ask for help because they see it as being an inconvenience or bother to others who also have their own problems.

Learning to ask, therefore, is a key process of overcoming those barriers.

It requires building self-confidence, recognizing that vulnerability is a strength, and understanding that most people are more willing to help than we think.

The first step is to challenge the negative beliefs that make asking for help difficult.

Acknowledge that everyone does need help from others.

As someone aptly put it, we were carried by others when we were babies and we’ll be carried by others when we die.

No one, however powerful, can do those things to himself!

No person lives alone on an island.

Acknowledging that we’re all interdependent is a fundamental aspect of being human.

So being able to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness.

In the Bible, Solomon knew the one thing that he needed from God – wisdom

Indeed, most people feel good when they are able to help because they know that their own success came about because someone held their hand when they needed help.

However, the Bible states in James 4:3: “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly.”

That implies that if we are to receive, we must also learn to practice effective asking.

First, we need to be specific.

A few years ago, a sister came asking me to help her find a husband.

When I asked her what kind of person she was interested in, she said “any.”

A realistic and concise request makes it easier for the other person to understand what you need and determine if they can help.

In the Bible, Solomon knew the one thing that he needed from God – wisdom. 

Additionally, pay attention to the ‘how’ and the timing.

A face-to-face conversation is often more effective than a casual message on WhatsApp.

Finally, you should show gratitude to make the person more likely to help you again or others in the future.